Before I begin, I’m not stating that a person with BPD is or will indefinitely be a better parent than a mentally healthy person, I am merely bringing up a suggestive opinion open for discussion. There is too much negativity circling around concerning the ability of someone with BPD to parent. The stigma needs to end.
If a person is self-aware and in control of their BPD traits, they could in theory be a better parent. They would have more to offer their children:
1. People with BPD are passionate and protective.
Due to their heightened emotions, the love for their children can be very intense and truly unconditional. Their maternal/paternal instincts would be amplified. Many people with BPD live for their children.
2. People with BPD are aware of the darkness in the world we live in.
There are many environmental factors that are known causes of BPD. The most common are: abuse, exposure to chronic fear or distress as a child, neglect or abandonment as a child, unstable family relationships. Anyone with BPD who has endured traumatic experiences can recognise the negative environmental factors, and strive to make sure their children do not suffer the same trauma.
3. People with BPD are insightful.
Due to their hypersensitivity and pain, some people with BPD are able to connect to what is around them. They can read facial expressions, behavior, and emotions of those around them. They can connect with their children on a deeper mindful level.
4. People with BPD are creative.
They can explore their creativity with their children and encourage creative thinking. Creativity nurtures the ability to problem-solve, innovate, and delve into new and unfamiliar areas. Children who are encouraged to think creatively display higher levels of self-esteem and motivation.
5. People with BPD are open-minded to new experiences.
This gives them the ability to inspire their children to have tolerant judgement of all things different and encourage critical thinking. Both of these behaviours are crucial in child development.
6. People with BPD are dependent.
The fear of rejection, abandonment and being alone is what causes their dependency. This can work out to be a positive trait when they have children, as children are dependent on their parents. Children are innocent, vulnerable and needy. The need of someone with BPD to be needed can bring closeness, support, affection and ultimately a strong bond between parent and child.
In conclusion, there are many positive aspects of being a parent with borderline personality disorder. If you have the disorder, don’t let the stigma bring you down. You have the ability to be a great parent. Click here to read some helpful parenting tips.