Love, long-term relationships and marriage are not easy. Anything worth pursuing in the long run requires the right balance of commitment, communication and understanding. If you have passed the “I Hate You—Don’t Leave Me” phase of the relationship with your BPD partner, and they have their BPD under significant control, you may be considering to take the next step.
Not everyone with BPD exhibits the same behaviours. But from looking at the most common BPD traits, here are 5 positives:
1. They won’t take you for granted.
Couples often drift apart due to the pressures of work, raising children and their chaotic lifestyles. When this happens, they end up taking each other for granted. Your borderline partner won’t take you for granted. Their fear of abandonment enables them to grow a strong attachment to you. They will indefinitely make time for you and want to do things together.
2. You will never be stuck in a rut.
Life will never be boring. The impulsive side of people with BPD allows them to be spontaneous and easily adapt to change. With this quality they are willing to explore new challenges and activities with you. They will also most likely back you up in any decision for change, such as taking a new job or moving.
3. Lots of sex.
Sex can die down in marriage. But with a borderline, the chances are a lot less. As a result of their intensely emotional side and need to connect, the sex you have with them can be the best you ever had. It can be very wild and passionate. They will always be eager to try new things in the bedroom and keep your love life exciting.
4. Their love for you wont fade.
People with BPD are very compassionate and loving. Emotions are amplified. So naturally, when they love someone, that person becomes their passion. You are their passion. They love with fierce intensity and can come up with a variety of creative ways to show their love and passion for you.
5. Your happiness is important to them.
Most likely because of their neediness, borderlines can be very willing to please others. If you’re not happy, they will sense it and may fear the worst (rejection or abandonment). This can bring on a wave of conflict at first, but ultimately they will do whatever it takes to keep you happy. The last thing they want is for you to feel unhappy with your decision to be with them.
Loving and committing to someone with BPD is a challenge that us borderlines are aware of. If you’re ready to commit, until death do you apart, then put a ring on it…