Intense emotional outbursts are one of the characteristics of borderline personality disorder that everyone would like to avoid. They are unpleasant and disruptive. The person on the receiving end is often left feeling angry, hurt and frustrated. But so is the person who had the outburst.
The idiom “walking on eggshells” is commonly used by people to describe their cautious behaviour when interacting with the borderline in their life. They want to avoid the rage and other emotional outbursts. Borderlines would rather avoid their emotional outbursts too, but it is a real challenge for them. While trying to control their emotions, it is sometimes the borderline who is walking on eggshells.
I am at the stage where I have accepted and understand my BPD behaviour. I understand that the emotional outbursts I have are unhealthy. So while I am learning to manage my emotions, I do my best to avoid situations that could trigger an emotional outburst. Some days, I find myself conversing less with my S.O. in an attempt to avoid a disagreement that could develop into an argument. When we argue I always lose it and have an intense emotional outburst. I hate how I make my S.O. the victim of my rage, and I hate the despair and loneliness I feel after every argument, so I walk on eggshells around him.
While I think avoidant and cautious behaviour can be used as a tool to help you focus on learning to regulate your emotions, these behaviours (especially avoidance) are not necessarily healthy. Overall, avoidant and cautious behaviour should not be used or seen as a permanent solution when dealing with BPD emotional outbursts.
Both parties (borderlines and non-borderlines) can help each other through the journey to a healthier relationship with no borderline emotional outbursts. Neither have to walk on eggshells if they are mindful, sensitive and understanding to each others feelings.