Inside My Borderline Mind

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38 Comments Add yours

  1. Tenacity T says:

    Okay, seriously I am intrigued by you. This was so incredible and in so many ways. I can relate in many ways. In fact, a lot of it actually sounded (please don’t take this the wrong way) “normal.” It is not to say that you aren’t normal, that is the whole point here. I am fascinated by people that know their own flaws but can admit them and also learn how to deal with them. I have met so many incredible people with several disabilities, disorders, mental illness etc. You are very brave and that is the first thing I admire. Thanks for following me back. I look forward to getting to know you through your blog. What is your name?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      Thank you for commenting! Don’t worry, I didn’t take it the wrong way πŸ™‚ I’m glad you’re able to relate to what I’ve written. I’m Simran x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tenacity T says:

        Hi SIMRAN ! Good 😊 me too!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Seaneen says:

        Thankyou for sharing ! It’s very helpful ! I’m trying to come to terms with my diagnosis and feel a sense if relief that I can connect with other people’s stories as I can relate so much !

        Like

  2. Rayne says:

    I can relate to this so much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚ I’m happy to hear the post is relatable. I hope more people will be able to relate and feel less isolated.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. 2modestminds says:

    Fascinating, in a “the truth is in here” way. Can relate and can add a couple of more things towards my feelings for my boy. Perhaps the definition of love in its purest form (you already know what I’m talking about). Please keep sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      Thanks for commenting! I do, our children are so precious and innocent, the greatest light in our lives. I had a look at your blog, you write beautiful pieces πŸ™‚

      Like

  4. It’s incredible how much of this I can relate to, as a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The dysphoria and emotional numbness, disassociation, the false selves (I have several that come out when they please–I can’t always control it), the mood swings, rage, black and white thinking and insecurities. They are all issues I struggle with as well. It’s so interesting the overlap of all the Cluster B disorders. Some of our behaviors and thoughts are almost exactly the same, other times they manifest in a slightly different ways.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      I never realised BPD and NPD were so similar, that’s interesting to know. I look forward to reading more articles about NPD on your site πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This was incredibly intriguing and I’m so happy that I came across your blog. I seriously have to set aside time tonight to read some of your other posts. You’re a great writer and this was really, really, really interesting. Thank you for sharing. πŸ™‚ It felt like I was reading parts about myself sometimes. Being self-critical, the “black and white”, etc. Just awesome. Just wanted to say that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      Thank you for the lovely comment πŸ™‚

      Like

  6. I can relate to so much of this, and really enjoyed reading it. I really appreciate your openness and honesty. πŸ™‚ Keep sharing and we will keep reading!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ~KL~ says:

    Oh man. I read this and realized….it was about ME. I, too, have Borderline (among other diagnoses). I could never write the way you do about it though. Hope youre OK. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      Thanks for commenting! I’m doing alright, how about you?

      Like

      1. ~KL~ says:

        Im so glad to hear youre doing alright. Im struggling…

        Like

      2. S. K. Bosak says:

        I’m sorry you’re struggling. It takes a lot of time to heal, especially from what leads us to develop BPD. I found writing down how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking helps. Or using something as a distraction such as creating art. Sometimes just talking to someone who will listen can help too. You’re welcome to send me a message if you ever need to talk x

        Like

      3. ~KL~ says:

        Wow, thank you for being so kind. I fear if you knew the real me….youd run for the hills. Any way we can private message on here? Or send our number?

        Like

      4. S. K. Bosak says:

        If you send me a message through the contact page we can talk through email.

        Like

  8. Christopher Bourne says:

    I love this, thank you, I am currently trying to explain to friends and family about my own battle with BPD yet the words escape me, I have shared this with them all as you describe thongs perfectly. This is beautifully written and I have subscribed to you now as I wish to read more of your posts

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      Thank you for commenting on and sharing this post πŸ™‚
      I hope it helps your friends and family understand and support you through your battle with BPD.

      Like

  9. Eva DiCicco says:

    Wow! This is been the most accurate reading of borderline I have read since my diagnosis! Thanks for making me feel so am not alone in this fight! Xoxo Eva

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      You’re welcome πŸ™‚
      I’m glad it’s helped you feel less alone x

      Like

  10. Thank you for this post. This is my everyday too. It is comforting to know there are others out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Elliesofia says:

    Hi. Thank you for writing this – I can identify with everything you say (you capture and echo my feelings exactly) – I have BPD and also DPD (Dependent Personality Disorder). I’m not coping well at the moment though despite psychotherapy. I would have liked the opportunity to have DBT which is the supposedly ‘best’ way of learning to deal with BPD symptoms and feelings but this is not available where I live. Can I ask what methods of coping or therapy (if any) you have found helps at all? I’m so glad I came across your blog – you write beautifully. I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts both in the future as I’m following you now and hopefully, some of your previous posts later today. Sending you kind thoughts, Ellie x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      Hi Ellie. I did CBT when I was an inpatient, and it was somewhat helpful. But as my psychiatrist put me on a lot of medication I couldn’t really focus (I felt that the meds I was on made me kind of stupid too). Since then I’ve just had one-to-one therapy and stopped takings meds. I think if you can find a good therapist then it’s really helpful. I’ve had a number of therapists but only my last one truly listened and helped me work through my thoughts and feelings.
      As of last year, I moved to another country where I haven’t been able to seek treatment. So to help myself, I take valarian drops for my mood and I try to stay as self-aware as possible. Whenever I feel that I’m losing control I write down how I’m feeling, thinking and behaving; then I just read through what I wrote. Sometimes writing is enough, but when it isn’t I keep myself physically active by doing something that calms me (exercise, drawing etc).
      There are a number of BPD support groups I’m in on facebook that help when I need to talk to someone who can relate/understand. If you want to look more into DBT there’s a free copy of a book online which you can print off and use. I haven’t got round to using it yet, but I’ve heard it’s great. I’ll post the link when I find it. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Elliesofia says:

        Thanks for replying so quickly, S. (Can I ask what your name is please, if you don’t mind)? Moving to another country and not being able to access help or treatment must be so tough for you. I’m on a lot of medication but think I’m only recently getting the balance right. I’ve been on meds for so long, I’ve got not idea who I’d be without them. Addicted? Quite possibly by now. You are truly very self-aware and that’s a great skill to have developed. I do find writing helps quite a lot. Exercise is a bit difficult as I am disabled but I can do a bit with the bits of me that decide to cooperate when I want them too πŸ™‚ I’d appreciate that link when you can find it. Thanks very much, Ellie x

        Like

      2. S. K. Bosak says:

        It’s Simran πŸ™‚
        I think meds can be helpful, but from my experience I decided to take the herbal route as what I was on clouded my mind so much that I couldn’t think straight.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Elliesofia says:

        Thank you for finding this for me x

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Elliesofia says:

        P.S. Thanks for following my blog x πŸ™‚

        Like

  12. Elliesofia says:

    (In addition to my previous comment): I just realised that somehow I started reading your post in the middle and have only just seen the paragraphs you have written under the heading of ‘The Impairments In My Personality Functioning: Self & Interpersonal Functioning’.This part of your post was liking looking in a mirror for me. I have no idea who I am and like you, I find I mould myself into whatever character I think the person I’m with expects me to be – not intentionally, it’s something I can’t help. I know that I also mirror the person I’m with, sometimes embarrassingly obviously but again, not intentionally. I can relate to everything else you write also, it’s almost like looking in a mirror at myself. Thanks again, Ellie x

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Reading this, I felt you were describing me to a T! Thank you for this. Its so hard to explain to people how we feel when we deal with this. I too have BPD and severe depression. Im 35 and slowly learning to cope. But at times it gets very hard. If it want for my 3 kids and my husband and my mom, I really dont think Id be here anymore. So I push on for them. Its the only thing that really keeps me going. Your second paragraph really hit home with me and made want to continue reading. Bpd is terrible, but can get thru. My faith in God also grounds me as well. Past couple days have been rough, but I will get thru. So glad I saw this!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. cecilia says:

    these borderline traits can be a blessing in disguise we realize what we are doing, and yet we continue un-likeable and frenzied characteristics. The good news is, there is evidence that as we age the bizarre personality fragments become less frazzled and more manageable

    Like

  15. guidinghope says:

    This was so, so we’ll written! Your insight and courage is so beautiful to see!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. S. K. Bosak says:

      Thank you πŸ™‚

      Like

  16. Hi Simran…. Very well written article… I m also a BPD patient…. Im in my recovery phase, though i keep having my relapses from time to time and thats exactly how it feels the way you have so well put it… Plz keep the spirit going… You are not alone! We are together in this and there is hope

    Liked by 1 person

  17. S. K. Bosak says:

    Update: Two “bloggers” took the content from this blog post and published it on their sites without my permission. If you have stumbled upon my site because one of these individuals was “sweet” enough to link back to this post, I want you to be aware of the fact that they stole my written work. So please do not share the link from their site or any other site that has stolen my work.

    Like

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